It's a Beautiful Day

After Reese's 12:00 feeding today, I went to the lobby and had some leftovers from the takeout Jason brought me last night.  Then I went outside and just sat in the sun outside the Sanford Surgical Tower (where the NICU is housed) and soaked it up.  What a gorgeous day!  Summer is my favorite, and I missed so much of it.  Even though my view was a parking lot today instead of a lake, I am so grateful for those few minutes and what it did for my soul.

As I was sitting, I saw a very pregnant woman walk from her car to MB3, presumably for an OB appointment.  It occured to me that if I had not had my condition, I would probably be coming for my 37 week visit today.  What a very different road we have gone down instead.  Jason and I are tired.  He is tired of driving and packing up and being without a helper.  I am tired of sitting in this hospital and eating takeout and having to rely so much on other people, no matter how wonderful and selfless they are.  We really thought that would be over tomorrow and we would get to go home.  But when the doctors rounded today, they were a bit more conservative in their estimates.  Her bilirubin is still a little high, her weight is still a little down, and her oxygen level still dips a little too often.  The result: we might get to leave on Monday.  I could hear Jason's heart sink as I told him on the phone.

But it's a beautiful day.  And I delivered a beautiful baby girl.  I have met wonderful people here and been shown God's love through strangers and friends.  So many people have helped us.  Last night Jason and Harper came up after Jason was done with work, and while he spent some time with Reese, Harper and I walked over to Labor & Delivery to see "Ya Ya" (Auntie Joni) and all our nurse friends.  They (and my amazing doctor) are all so sweet, and I am giving thanks for their care and for their love, which made my 4 weeks there so much better than it could have been. 

And I am thankful she is ok.  The nurse practioner today was talking to me about some of the long-term effects preemies can have and how to counteract them.  She added at the end of the conversation that it's a good thing they took her out, though, since her environment was starting to get hostile.  And Jason ran into one of the peri's in the hallway last night (the high-risk docs who saw me before I delivered), and all he said to Jason was, "You're lucky."  Yikes. We have said it before and I know it's true, but I have to remind myself that things could be so much worse. 

And it's a beautiful day.